I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
