i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
