Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
