I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
