I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Everyone says I win the strip club
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
