It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
