you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This is the high leading the old right now
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
