i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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