NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize