I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
