My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
