so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
