She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
