So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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