Kiss
Puke
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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