adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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