She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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