I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
