Jerry, you need to find god
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
