Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
