Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
