you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
