hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Randomize
