White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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