dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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