Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
