you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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