Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
