she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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