is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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