Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
