I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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