If i come over, it means nothing
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
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