there was a trapeze. enough said
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
