I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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