I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
