i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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