Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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