You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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