I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
