No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
