Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
