he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
