Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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