Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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