some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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