my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
