Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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