I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
