At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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