Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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