Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
