Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
