Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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