I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
