i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
