well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize