I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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