So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
