And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
