He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
