my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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