No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
