So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
