I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
