A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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