forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
