i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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