Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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