So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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