why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
birth control should be required to get into college
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
